Sometimes you’re just fucked and no amount of happy thinking or philosophy or self help bullshit is going to work.
Sometimes you’re just fucked and sure, going for a walk or getting some sun in your eyeballs or drinking some water or petting a cat or slow breathing or cold water splashing or whatever the fuck might help, but it won’t, because you don’t have energy for any of that shit right now.
But sometimes it’s not about the thing you do so much as it is the doing of a thing. (That’s a hint)
But nevertheless sometimes you’re just fucked and all you can do is endure and go through it.
If that’s you right now then let’s help you to help yourself get through this bullshit.
First of all do not let your mind default into the background notion that this is your new forever, your new normal, it is absolutely not.
Everything, and I mean everything, changes. Bad shit changes, good shit changes, always on its own but sometimes, also, because we recategorize what the fuck is actually bad or actually good because bad and good are just adopted and recycled opinions.
This fucked up state you find yourself in feels irrational, so steer it with more irrationality.
Consider being grateful that you get to go through such a shitty thing because this isn’t an obstacle it is an opportunity, it is a portal and what do we do with a portal? We fucking go through it.
The reason you’re so fucked is twofold.
Reason one: your thought plane is like an impossibly tangled up ball of thought string.
If you try to think your way out of this, that thought is just another thread you’re adding to the nightmare knot in your noggin.
If you can discern what’s fucking you up then kudos, you’ve got something to sink your mind teeth into.
But either way, whether you can quantify what’s wrong or not you’re probably making it worse by either creating a narrative of “I know why I’m so fucked” and are using it as a self-perpetuating justification to keep feeling shitty.
Or you don’t know why you’re so fucked and are therefore searching everywhere, inside and out, to find the culprit of your fucked-ness so that everything you examine becomes a candidate and pretty soon everything you see or think becomes tainted with the very fucked-ness you are searching for.
So, consider not ejaculating your misery all over your entire life.
This bullshit right here that you’re going through, this is a rare chance to unwind some of that mess in your mind. You are so lucky!
A tangled rats nest of thought cannot unwind itself so you have to utilize something else.
Thought begets thought so instead, utilize your meat tractor.
Ok, Your only two jobs here are 1: to feel where this fucked-upness is in your body
And 2: don’t get your conceptual mind involved with trying to write a story about why it’s in your body and what it means and no it’s not a heart attack, you may think it is, but you know it’s not, it’s not a stroke or organ failure or whatever the fuck you think it is so stop thinking shit into being.
Just feel it and let it happen.
That’s the key here, please hear me- let it happen.
Feel it fully and allow it to play out in your system.
If you stop resisting it, the energy of it, the tightness, the feeling, you will be amazed at how fast it will discharge and that brings us to the 2nd thing I mentioned.
Atoms are mostly empty space and a little bit of energy whizzing around.
Reality is emptiness and energy so have no doubt that somehow, and yeah I know it’s weird but it’s for realsies, we store this angsty energy in our empty energetic body like we’re a meat battery and then we recycle it by resisting.
That’s why you’re so fucked, your battery is overcharged and trying to discharge through a ground.
It’s that simple.
And that energy doesn’t care where it discharges so be mindful that you don’t electrocute the people you love, or like, or.. just try not to be an asshole about it.
If you insist on blaming a person or circumstance for the shitty way that you hold onto shit rendering you unable to process emotion, then I can’t help you right now.
Because ultimately I can’t help you at all, no one can. You get to suffer as long as you want, we are the only ones that can help ourselves so take authority of your own existence.
When you feel the fucked-ness in your body and you simply stop resisting it, that will help dissolve that particular irritating string within your tangled thought plane so that A:
You can then see and understand it better or B:
You still won’t see what the fuck it is but at least it won’t be in there pulling against and binding the rest of the strings creating this overwhelmed feeling of system overload which always feels just too impossible to figure out, hence, you become fucked.
Look, if you can’t do any of that shit right now that’s fine, just try to stay loose, prioritize calming your nervous system, droop your eyes, slouch, move slow, breathe slow don’t overthink it, don’t give your shit mood a vehicle constructed of a made up narrative to drive around and do donuts in your head with.
If you can’t feel the fucked upness in your body then the work becomes more nuts and bolts for now until you can feel it for the sake of letting it happen and go, start on the ground floor like:
Get some fucking sleep!
Yeah, I know, being fucked up makes it hard to sleep but not sleeping makes you fucked up so prioritize future you over “right now” you and just do your best to dedicate your day to your night.
If you’re getting hammered or fucked up all the time or even if your just eating shit food or being a lazy fuck all these things will hinder you from your “thought knot” untying project and also from discharging your energetic load because, as I implied, you’re a system so you’ll want to start addressing all the things that contribute to the misery that is temporarily passing through you.
Did you catch that? Passing THROUGH you. If you let it do so.
Also, you know, you’re gonna need to move around at some point. If you’re just sit there marinating in stress hormones with your head up the internet’s ass you’ll tenderize yourself into a panic attack.
Exercise gives you endorphins, in other words you can get high on your own brain juice.
Ya I know, you don’t wanna, or you can’t, no energy but fucking do it anyway.
Because when you do a thing you don’t wanna do the part of your brain that is in charge of your will to live becomes literally swole, so, Helloooo…
If nothing else, wait it out. Endure. Hang the fuck in there. It’s going to change so long as you don’t keep resurrecting it with thought loops and resistance and doing dumb shit.
So instead of letting thought horses pull your consciousness cart, grab the reigns and make an effort, however small, as best you can, that’s all anyone can do, all we can do is our best until our best gets better.
Take a deep breath and release that scream that’s been hiding behind your ribs and release it into ocean waves or a big wind of the scream of traffic or, a fucking pillow, whatever.
Stay out of the past and don’t lean into the future, neither exist.
Pay attention to the fact that even though your hormones and thoughts are all jumbled into a state that you have labeled “fucked”, despite that, right here, right now, in this singular moment, you’re ok. I know you are because if you weren’t you wouldn’t be watching this fucking video right now.
Recognize it, “Real”-ize it and say it, “right this second, I’m actually fucking ok” anchor into the ok-ness of right fucking now and then send a safety signal to your nervous system and go do one healthy or beneficial thing for future you. Then do another, and another, as best you can, over and over til you’re dead.
If you fuck up, when you fuck up, you can’t fuck it up! But fine, practice irrational forgiveness for yourself, and keep going, chin up little buckeroo!
You may feel alone but you’re not, this fucked-upness thing is truly part of the human condition and there’s no escaping it.
Your future happiness will be defined, by way of contrast, by how shitty you’re feeling right now so yay for the inevitable swing of the pendulum of duality and life.
Negative states only becomes problematic when we run from the labeled negativity towards a fabricated positive state and then when the thing we’re running from catches up we resist it.
Suffering is just the resistance you deploy against inevitable and natural shitty states that are caused by tangled thought knots and overcharged meat batteries.
Help it untangle.
Let it discharge.
Stop resisting or it stays in you and you stay fucked up.
Feel your feels, all of them.
And lucky you, you just figured out how to ride the evolution wave towards a more balanced you that just keeps getting better and better and lighter and lighter until you become an uplifting fucking contagion by merely existing.
I’m excited for your ass, maybe you should try to be excited too because suffering is ripeness, now is the time to take a bite.
It takes a lot of shit to grow a rose, fucked upness is the manure and the rose, is you. Toodaloo.
